The Other Side of Paradise - Part 4

Despite continuing to experience anxiety attacks, I persisted in my work as my physical assailant was on vacation, and I had developed a coping mechanism to manage the verbal assaults and bullying from the other colleagues. However, upon being scheduled to work alongside the physical assailant, my mental health deteriorated significantly. This decline in mental well-being began to adversely affect my physical health, resulting in poor sleep and persistent headaches. Consequently, I made the decision to call in sick to prioritize my self-care. Additionally, I sought the assistance of a vertrouwenspersoon, as my mental health was worsening and I felt the need to discuss my experiences with someone.

I was previously informed of the existence of a complaints committee chairperson within the company. After receiving her email address, I reached out to her only to discover that she was the HR business partner for the hotel chain in the Netherlands. She advised me to submit my formal letter of complaint, which I promptly did and we eventually had a video call to discuss my issues. During our conversation, she expressed her intention to contact the General Manager and the HR Manager to arrange meetings where I could discuss my issues. She acknowledged that the situation was not handled appropriately and affirmed my right to be heard.

Meetings

On June 19, 2024, I attended a meeting with the HR Manager, the Food and Beverage (F&B) Manager and the vertrouwenspersoon. Before proceeding with what transpired during the meeting, I need to share utterences made by the HR manager. On June 14, 2024, I received a call from the HR Manager at approximately 13:37 to arrange meetings with various colleagues. During this call which lasted 5 minutes, she stated, “At this time, you are not sick; you are only staying home because you do not want to work with your colleagues.” I emphasized the importance of my mental health, to which she responded, “It’s not like you have a headache or a fever.” I found her response to be rather insensitive, particularly for someone in her position. I informed her that she was not privy to the symptoms I was experiencing and that I was not legally obligated to disclose this information.

My expectation, based on my conversation with the business partner, was that I would have the opportunity to discuss my experiences in detail. However, the prevailing sentiment during the meeting was to move forward without addressing the events that had necessitated the meeting.

The HR Manager began the meeting by expressing her regret that I was dissatisfied despite the numerous conversations we had purportedly held. However, I contended that these conversations had not occurred; otherwise, there would have been no need for escalation. She acknowledged having been informed by the business partner regarding the contents of my official complaint and stated, “We take your complaints seriously and want to discuss them with you—that is why we are here now.” She also addressed what Lenny said about me digging a grave and having a talk with HR by saying, “I was very upset of this because it was not up to him to say anything about this because what happened then, I don’t know how he knew…”. Ironically, when my contract was not renewed a few months later, she claimed ignorance regarding the reasons for this decision by the sous and head chef not to renew/extend my contract - yet Lenny knew it wouldn't have been extended. The F&B Manager then expressed a desire to “clear the air and really look at what we can go further from here and see what actions we can take or we can assist in in order to make sure that you feel safe to work with us.” This was precisely what I sought; however, during a prior meeting with the General Manager, the said F&B manager accused me of playing the victim for not getting my way.

I then inquired about the claim of numerous conversations, to which the HR Manager admitted, “We have spoken with the colleagues, but we cannot tell you what have been spoken but it’s up to the other colleagues and it is not up to you…” This confirmed my long-held belief that I was not being afforded a listening ear, while my colleagues were. I also questioned the F&B Manager regarding the alleged complaints received by him the General Manager. He stated that he was informed by colleagues that, “You go to the bathroom quite often during rush hours or you were working at a slower pace ever since you’ve had the conversation with the job coach, but those were only a few points that were pointed out to me since you’ve gone ill a few weeks back.” This contradicted the narrative presented during our meeting with the General Manager. He further mentioned that while I was on sick leave, he had spoken with colleagues who reported experiencing similar issues, which I found perplexing as I had never engaged in bullying or harassment of any kind. Regarding Lenny’s actions, the F&B Manager inquired whether I had discussed the matter with the head chef, asserting that Lenny “doesn’t strike me as a person who would do that,” and that this was the first time he had heard of me being bullied on the work floor. He suggested that I could have approached him or the head chef to address the issue, which contradicted his earlier statements while in the company of the general manager. In that meeting he(Dennis) asked if I had spoken with the head chef about having a meeting and I indicated in the affirmative that I had but no meeting took place, the F&B manager made it clear that it was Malik's leadership style(whether or not to have a meeting after I suggested it).

He went on to say that he was saddened that “this situation was this huge problem that could have been tackled right in the beginning…because we want to just keep working with you and create a safe environment for everybody as I’ve always done and we’ve always done…always if I’m hiring someone over here, I’m telling them that this is the Preek Hotel family…I left the hotel 3 years ago and I was welcomed back with open arms and I always feel that we did that with everybody…it’s sad to hear that you are not feeling the same way…and that you are feeling that you are not accepted or that you are not being heard or that you are not feeling safe and I am really worried about it because I didn’t want that in my team…”